Just to be clear: everyone in this story is over 19 years old. Everything that happened is true, except for the names of two of the people involved.
Nikhil (Me) – 40 years and married. In an (Ethical Non-Monogamy) ENM relationship. Based out of Bengaluru.
Riya – 40 years and married. She has a strong, perhaps even resilient, personality underneath. Based out of Bengaluru
We have both known each other long enough to have a comfortable, easy-going friendship at work.
I have called this experience ‘Breaking Free – Riya’s Journey.’ This isn’t a story focused on sexual encounters from the start. I hope you’ll be patient and read through the experience with an open mind. I will be sharing this experience in parts. Happy reading!
“What’s the matter, Riya? You appear to be very down and sad,” I asked my colleague.
She held my hand and looked into my eyes and said, “Nikhil, you seem to be concerned about me. Can we have a drink after work? I need one.”
We went to a recently opened Brew Pub, ICB, in Bengaluru. We were sipping our whiskey and started talking casually.
“I am mentally exhausted, Nikhil. There’s always something going on at home with Rakesh (her husband). No time for me to relax.” Riya said and continued, “I feel Rakesh is cheating on me.”
“What?!” I replied, a little shocked by what she said. “Riya, I am sorry to hear that. I will not say – I can understand. But, Riya, let me be honest – my wife and I are on ENM (ethical non-monogamy) terms. We both date separately, though,” I said.
Now she was in for a shock and asked, “You can’t be serious. Don’t be ridiculous, Nikhil. Really Nikhil. You? I never imagined you would say this. We both go a long way, but this side of yours, I had no idea. If it were somebody else, I would have walked away by now. But, with you, I am curious to know why and how?”
“Riya,” I said, “As long as we adults are exploring our respective lives ethically and consensually, why should anyone mind? Honestly, Riya, thanks to this, the trust between my wife and me has increased. No doubting each other and fighting – no fear of separation at all.”
Riya became more curious (her eyes said everything). I looked into her eyes and asked without much hesitation, “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about others, Riya.”
“No way, Nikhil. I have never thought about that,” she protested and continued, “You’re bad, Nikhil. I thought I would share my shocking news, but you gave me a much bigger shock. You are joking, right, Nikhil?” she asked.
“No. I am not.” I replied and said, “I believe Riya, in a good marriage, the couple knows they truly love each other. They’re always there for one another, and they’re both in it for the long run.”
We continued our talks, and Riya played with her hair occasionally, with a clear indication that she was interested in knowing more. It had been a while since I had spoken like this with anybody. I was enjoying the talks and her company.
She calmly smiled at me, showing no sign of being bothered by what I said. We continued talking like this until we completed our drinks and had food. We decided to head back to our respective homes.
Riya reached home, and she informed me about the same. She had earlier said she’ll confront Rakesh about his affair. Here’s how Rakesh and Riya’s conversation unfolded.
“Rakesh”, Riya began, her voice steady and her looks sharp and unforgiving, “we need to talk. I know everything.”
“What, Riya? What do you know? What are you talking about?” with looks of confusion and a fumbling voice, he asked.
“Don’t be smart or act dumb, Rakesh,” she said, and continued in a brave tone. “I know about her. I know you’re cheating.”
Rakesh looked dumb by listening to her words and said, “Riya, that’s… that’s ridiculous… honestly ridiculous. How can you even think about this?”
“It’s not thinking, Rakesh. It’s the truth,” Riya replied.
“I’ve seen the messages, the late nights returning from work, the sudden so-called ‘business trips’ made me suspicious about you. And the perfume, it’s been on all over your shirts, certainly not mine.” She took a sigh and continued, “So, let’s stop with the denials and excuses. Tell me, Rakesh. How long?”
Rakesh sat back in his chair. He was trembling like a fish out of the water; he ran a hand through his hair, avoiding looking into her. “Okay, Riya. You’re right. I’m sorry. It happened.” He finally looked at her and further confessed. “I messed up. I really did. It’s been a few months.”
He took a deep breath. “There’s no excuse. I’m very sorry. I hurt you.” Riya expected these words from him and said, “Sorry? Sorry Rakesh? Sorry, will not solve this. Do you even understand what you’ve done? What about us, our dreams, the things we have built?”
Without much panicking and without shouting, Riya asked, “Why her? Why did you do this?”
Rakesh gathered his courage, looked into Riya’s eyes and begged, “I know sorry isn’t enough, Riya. You’re right. I… I don’t really have a reason. Not one that makes any sense, not one that takes away what I did.”
He fumbled and mumbled and said, “It just… started. Things here felt, I don’t know, a bit routine? Not exciting. I know it sounds stupid, especially because I am saying all this now. It was never about her. It was about… a feeling, a feeling of something new. And I became selfish. I didn’t think about you, about us, about any of this. I just acted like an idiot.”
He continued, “I never meant to hurt you, Riya. Never. And I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s true.”
Once he confessed, the entire room had become very, very silent. Riya listened, her face still unmoving. The words ‘routine, not exciting and something new’ worried her.
“Routine? Not exciting?” Riya moved closer to Rakesh, sat up straight, her eyes locking onto his. “Tell me, Rakesh, what if I came to you right now and said the same thing? What if I told you I found someone new because our life felt a bit ‘routine’ to me? How would you feel? Me saying ‘sorry’ is enough then?”
Riya’s words hit him hard. He opened his mouth and wanted to say something. But no words came out, no defence, no explanation for the confession. He couldn’t even look into her eyes. It crushed him.
“I… I don’t know, Riya,” he shouted. He walked near her, was about to hold her, but could not. He realised he could not show his face further till the situation stabilised.
He felt the need to escape the silence, which was suffocating both of them; the judgment had filled the room. Without another word, he got up from the bed, grabbed his car keys from the table, and walked out.
Riya stood there, completely frozen, and thought, “The apology, his reasons, and he just left?” And stared at the door, which had closed with a bang. She had many questions, so many questions, and he was gone. She was frozen. Didn’t know what to do next. Her life looked shattered. Her world looked shattered.
It was too much for her to process, all alone. She realised that there’s one person who would listen to her without judgment and be there when needed. She reached for her phone and called me. The moment I called her name “Riya,” she shared every painful detail.
I didn’t interrupt her, but I listened. I could feel her pain over the phone. When she paused, “Riya”, I said in a soft but firm voice, “I can come over right now. I can be with you if you want. Should I, Riya?”
“No, Nikhil,” she whispered, her voice still trembling, but accepting the bitter truth, and it gave her some strength, and she said, “Not tonight. I… I need to be alone right now, to try and make sense of things.”
“But thank you. Thank you for listening. It means more than you know.” Riya said and gave a weak smile that I couldn’t see. “We’ll meet tomorrow at work. Okay?”
“Okay, Riya,” I said in a kind tone. “If that’s what you need take care of yourself tonight, alright? And yes, we’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll see you at work.” I waited for her to hang up.
The next day, at work, it was hectic for both of us. In a way, it was good for Riya – the project she was part of required her complete attention. During lunch, I joined her, and both of us ate food in silence. I felt I had to be with her, even if we were not talking.
Before she left, she said, “In the evening, somewhere nearby, let’s meet.”
After work, we decided to go to a nearby pub. We both sat in my car, and I drove for some distance. Once out of the work premises, I reached over and gently pulled Riya into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Riya,” I said softly, holding her tight. “This is just awful. Remember, I’m here for you anytime you need.”
I pulled the car over to the side of the road. Riya held my shirt, buried her face against my shoulder. She couldn’t break down, not yet. Not when she needed to be strong, to figure things out. She just nodded against me, unable to speak.
We arrived at the pub, and Riya just looked at me, her eyes pleading, “I just want to get sloshed,” she said, her voice stony. She asked me to stay with her, and of course, I agreed. She drank vodka steadily, glass after glass, until she really was sloshed.
Seeing how completely out of it she was, and knowing she couldn’t go home like that, I booked us a hotel room right nearby. I brought her up to the room. I didn’t even try to get her changed; she just collapsed onto the bed and dozed off almost instantly.
I settled down on the sofa in the room, keeping an eye on her whenever I could, just making sure she was alright.
The next morning, I called in sick. There was no way I was going into work after last night. It turned out Riya had already applied for leave too.
“Hi Riya, slept well?” I asked.
She blinked slowly and mumbled, “A couple more hours would’ve been nice.”
“Oh, my head! Too many vodkas last night,” Riya moaned on the bed.
I already had a glass of fresh lime juice ready for her. “Drink this fresh lime juice,” I offered and continued saying, “Come on, let’s get you up. We’ll go grab some breakfast, and then we can get you some fresh clothes.”
I paused, watching her slowly sit up. “Riya,” I asked gently, “do you want to go home today? And did Rakesh send you any messages? Did either of you even tell each other you wouldn’t be home last night?”
She checked her phone and shook her head. “No messages,” Riya mumbled. “But I do want to get some fresh clothes from home. You can grab yours too.”
Then, she looked at me, an element of hope in her eyes. “Nikhil, would it be okay if you stayed with me for another day?” She hesitated, then added, “Or, would it be alright if we just got away for a couple of days, just us?”
“Okay,” I told her, “Here’s the plan. You let Rakesh know, and I’ll tell my wife. We both need to inform our stakeholders, too, of course.” I gave her a small, reassuring smile. “But yeah, we can definitely get away for a couple of days.”
We decided on Wayanad. The plan was simple: we’d buy clothes on the way and skip going home altogether.
This is the end of Part 1.
Not sharing details of either Riya or my wife.
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