Previous Part: Wrong marriage
It didn’t take much time in our marriage to realize that we both have very different sexual drives. It took me a while to adjust to this fact. He used to take the lead every time we had sex, and I used to comply with him in bed.
I enjoyed the sex life, though I was a little shy and apprehensive in bed. With time, I started getting comfortable with him. He preferred having sex at least 2-3 times a week to cater for his bodily needs.
We visited India recently for a month during the festival. We didn’t get intimate with each other during our time in India as we didn’t have enough privacy. We returned to the US after a month, and he wanted to have sex the next day.
I, too, felt there was some need for my body. I got used to having sex frequently in the last few months since marriage. We were having sex in the missionary position. I was more active that day than I would usually be.
The long gap in getting physical probably had some effect on me as well. As he went in and out of me in missionary it felt good.
‘It feels really good,’ I told him. He smiled. ‘Finally, you said something after all these months in our marriage. It’s good to see you communicating in bed,’ he said.
I had a mild smile. I moved my hands to his ass and gently pressed it against me. I did this instinctively for some reason.
‘Do you want me to go harder?’ he asked.
I nodded my head gently. With this nod, I realized I had become completely comfortable with him. He lifted himself and took support with his hands.
‘Alright, let me try this way,’ he said and thrust harder every time he went in. I held back from moaning. Still, a few involuntary sounds were coming from me as he was thrusting harder.
He looked at me and said, ‘It’s ok, you can let out those moans. Don’t feel judged or bad about it.’ I nodded my head. I took a while to prepare myself in my head to express myself completely. After a minute or so, I started letting out the moans.
It felt very liberating not to hold back. I was wet and dripping. My whole body could feel his thrust as he was going at me. We never had this hardcore sort of sex. The one-month gap really affected us, and it showed clearly. He finished after 5 minutes. He cum a lot.
I could feel it inside me that he was cumming a lot. In fact, I was surprised it lasted for a few seconds with multiple releases. He lay next to me after he finished. He was getting some air.
‘Can I say you cum a lot? Is it because of the long gap?’ I asked him.
‘Not entirely. I was also more excited as you started communicating. Maybe that showed its effect as well. And yes, not having a release for a long time also contributed,’ he said.
I nodded my head.
‘Why didn’t you have a release? You could’ve done something by yourself to get some release instead of holding back. No harm in it,’ I said.
‘Like masturbating?’ he asked.
‘Whatever you want to call it. I’m just saying, help yourself,’ I said.
‘You don’t want to label it, do you?’ he said with a smile.
I just remained silent.
In the following days, we became more open in communicating sexual needs. I very rarely used to do that. But he used to show his interests more freely as he could see I opened up with him off late. He came from the office one evening, and he said he felt like having sex. I was watching television in our living room.
‘We had it last night,’ I said.
‘I know, is it ok if we have it again?’ he asked.
I just looked at him for a few seconds. I nodded gently, as I didn’t want to disappoint him. He suggested we do it on the living room couch. I was a little apprehensive but eventually agreed. I asked him to close all the blinders in our living room so that no one would be able to see us from outside.
He closed the blinders and came to me. Kissed me on the lips and went on to pull my leggings down to my knees. I laid down on the couch and positioned myself. He opened his zip and pulled out. He was in his formal office attire. The shirt was tucked in.
We didn’t have much foreplay. Went with penetration straight away. Had a quick 5 minutes of sex before he cum. That was the first time I had sex outside my bed.
Slowly, things started changing. He expressed his desires more openly with me. Sometimes he wants to suck my breast. Sometimes, he needs my hands to work on him to give him a release. It was becoming more on a need basis. We slowly started becoming more sex-positive in our lifestyle.
There was a time he didn’t ask for sex for more than a week. Nor did he ask for any foreplay or sexual acts. I was a little surprised by his behaviour. I wanted him to approach me after we didn’t have sex for around 10 days. I felt my body needed it.
But I didn’t see any advancements from him. So I asked him if everything was fine.
‘Yes, why did you have that question?’ he asked.
‘Nothing, just felt like asking.’ I said.
‘Is it because we didn’t get intimate for a while?’ he asked.
‘Probably,’ I said.
‘Do you feel like having sex?’ he said.
I remained silent. He smiled and hugged me. He took me to the bedroom, and we had sex. He said he did it purposely as he wanted me to express my desire. I didn’t like it. It’s his idea to make me come out and ask for sex. But that has worked.
After that day, whenever I needed some physical intimacy, I used to express myself to him. Our sex life was more liberal than I thought it would be when I got married initially. Looking back, I couldn’t believe I was the same person I used to be before marriage.
He did bring a lot of change to me. I lived for more than 20 years without sex before my marriage. But now I struggled to live a mere 20 days without having sex. My body got used to it, and he was great in bed. Sharing my sexual life here openly is also a part of me getting more liberal and sex-positive.
I like this new me. I like the physical pleasures I am getting in my life so frequently. Though I was worried soon after my marriage, now I feel glad I married a sexual person. He was catering to my body’s needs.
I could ask him to work on my chest with his hands, work with his fingers down there or be gentle or rough with my body when I needed it. He would never judge me.
I’m in a happy space physically in my life.