To kahani kuch is tarah se shuru hoti hai.
Subaha ka samay Jethalal ki dukaan.
Natu-kaaka: Sethaji aap meri pagaar kab badhane vaale hai?
Jethalal: Jab Babitaji mujhe chudai ka mauka dengi!
Natu-kaaka: Isaka matalab is janam mein to meri pagaar badhane se rahi!
Raviwar dopahar ki baat hai, Jethalal aur Bhide, Abdul ki bandh dukaan ke baahar baith kar denge hank rahe hai.
Master Bhide: Are Jethalal! Hamare jamane mein main jab muth marta to aadhe ghante tak jhadta nahi tha!
Jethalal: Ja ja phenkoo! Are jab main apane jamane mein muth marta tha to ek ghante tak nahi jhadta tha!
Master Bhide: To fir lagi shart? Chalo abhi upar chhat pe jake muth maare aur faisala ho jayega!
Jethalal: Haan lekin hame koi referee bhi chahiye! ek kaam karata hun main Mehta-sahab ko bulaake laata hun.
Master Bhide: Nahi woh to tumhaara dost hai. Fir to main bhi Sodhi ko bulake lata hun. Fir do umpire se hi faisala karavayenge!
Jethalal: Lekin Sodhi to tumhara bhi pakka dost hai!
Master Bhide: To fir Champak chachaji ko hi bula lete hai! Woh kisee ki bhi tarafdari nahi karenge!
Jethalal: Are bhai maravaoge kya? Baapuji ke dar se to meri pupli tight bhi nahi hoti. To muth kaise maaroonga?
Master Bhide: To theek hai. Hathi ko le lete hai?
Jethalal: Nahi woh to chhat par dheere dheere chadhenge tab tak subah se shaam ho jayegee!
Master Bhide: Abdul?
Jethalal: Haan theek hai. Abdul, Mehta sahab aur Sodhi. Ye teen hamare umpire rahenge.
Jetha aur Bhide, teeno logo ko phone karake chhat pe bulaate hai.
Sodhee: O bhidoo! Hamako upar kyon bulaya?
Bhide: Dekho na Sodhi ye Jethalal shekhi maar raha hai ki woh muth maarke ek ghante tak nahi jadata! To fir hamane shart rakhee hai aur tumako referee banna hai.
Sodhee: Oy tum dono idhar muth maarake maza karo aur main dekhoo? O bevakooph samaja hai kya? O mein bhi is spardha mein shaamil hona chaahata hun!
(Background music…O papaji…O papaji.)
Ab ye log milakar ye tay karate hai ki teenon (Jetha, Bhide aur Sodhi) ekasaath muth maarenge. Mehta apane mobile ki stop-watch ke jariye dekhenge ki kon sabse ant mein jadata hai. Aur jo sabase ant mein jhadega, usako baaki ke donon haare hue spardhak ek maheene tak muft mein soda pilaenge!
Kinhee kaaranon se Abdul abhi tak nahi aaya. Ialiye, usake bager hi muth-baaji spardha chaalu huyi.
Mehta: Raedy? One…Two…Three…and start.
Teenon spardhak badi kushalata se muth maar rahe hai, aur
Sodhi (muth maarate hue): Balle…Balle…Vaahoo…
Kuchh 3-4 minute pashchyaat:
Sodhee: Aah main to jhadne ki kagaar pe hun. Are haay rabba main to gaya.
(Sodhi ki pichakaari chhoot jati hai!)
Mehta: Sodhi tum out ho gaye!
Sodhee: O yaar mera to bedalak hi kharaab hai.
Ab keval Bhide vs Jetha ke bich mein spardha. Kuchh 10–12-minute ke baad:
Bhide: Aah, mera lauda itana be-shist kyon ho gaya? Main bhi jhadane waala hun. Are main to gaya…
(Bhide ki bandook bhi fire kar jati hai!)
Mehta: Bhide tum bhi out ho gaye! Iska matalab Jethalal vijeta hai!
Bhide: Ek minute Mehta sahab! Jethalal ne kaha tha ki woh ek ghante tak nahi jhadata isalie, abhi pikchar baakee hai. Use vijeta ghoshit hone ke lie, ek ghante tak bina jhade muth maaranee hogi!
Jethalal (muth maarate hue): Are ek ghanta to kya main ek din tak aise hi muth maar sakata hun!
Kuch 30-minute baad:
Jetha ka 61-62 abhi bhi chaalu hi hai. Kyoki woh man hi man Sundaralaal ke baare mein soch raha hai. Isalie woh maanasik roop se sex ke liye jara bhi utsuk nahi hai. Aur hadane ka to savaal hi paida nahi hota!
Ab usane aankhe bhi bandh kar li hai taaki bina rukaavat ke apna kaam chaalu rakh sake. Bhide ko ehasaas ho jaata hai, ki Jethalal ka vijeta hona ab nishchit hai! Woh ek khurafati tarkeeb lagata hai.
Daudakar niche jaata hai aur Gokuldham society ke sabhi sadasyon ko bula chup chaap chhat pe laata hai! Sab ke hosh ud jaate hai ki Jethalal aadhi pant neeche utaare hue, aakhen bandh kiye muth maar raha hai!
Daya se bilakul raha nahi jaata.
Daya: Hai maan…Maataaji! Tappu ke paapa ye aap kya kar rahe hai?
Jethalal (bhochakka rahe jaata hai): Are Daya tum?
Daya: Aap ye kar rahe hai yanha pe? Are Amadaavaad mein meri maa ko pata chalega to woh kya sochegi? Ki unake jamai-raaja raat ko bedroom mein biwi chudai ke badale din-dahaade chhat pe muth maarte hai?
Jethalal: Are ye to woh Bhide…
Champakalaal: Shoooooo! Chup kar Jethiya babuchak! Tune to aaj mujhe sharm se pani pani kar diya. Ek bachche ka baap hua to bhi akal nahi ayi tujame! Ab mein bhachaoo mein sab logo ko kya munh dikhaoonga?
Jethalal: Are ye to woh Bhide… Are Mehta sahab aap kuch bolate kyon nahi?
Mehta sahab: ab kya boloo Jethalal?
Anjali: Tarak aap yaha kya kar rahe the?
Mehta sahab (man mein sochate hai): Agar inalogon ko pata chal gaya ki main yaha muth baaji spardha mein nirnaayak bana tha to meri bhi fajihat ho jayegi. Koi bahaana banaata hun.
Mehta sahab (Anjali se): ye sab tumhari galati hai, Anjali! Ek to tum theek se kuch khana banake khilaatee nahi mujhe! To main bor ho raha tha, to chhat pe ghoomne aaya tha! Aur dekha ki Jethalal yaha ye gandi harakat kar rahe hai. To main bas yaha usako rokane hi vaala tha ki aap log aa gaye.
Jethalal: Ye kya? Dost dost na raha…
Roshan (biwi): Ai Roshan tu idhar kya karata hai baava?
Roshanasinh (woh bhi jooth bolata hai): O meri soniye! O main to idhar bas phone ka signal nahi aa raha tha isalie aaya tha.
Roshan (biwi): Tu ghare aavani. Main tere ko sabak sikhaati hun! Tu pakka idhar party-sharty ka pograam banane aaya hoga!
Babitaaji: Jethaaji ye! It is so disgusting! I can’t believe you were doing this dirty thing here!
Jethalal (waise angreji samaj nahi aati hai): Are nahi Babitaji aap mujhe galat samajh rahe hai. Woh to main ye Bhide ne ……
Ayyar: Rahene do, Babita.Ye Jethalal mein to kuch manners hai hi nahi. Chalo ham ghar chalate hai.
Jethalal: Are Ayyar bhai, mujhe bolane ka moka to deejiye. Ye Bhide ne mere saath shart lagayi thi ki kon der se jhadta hai. Ye khud abhi yahaan muth maar raha tha. Dekho usaki viray ki pichakari woh hai.
Jethalal chhat ki farsh ki aur oongalee karata hai. Lekin dopahar ki garmi mein Bhide ka gira hua viraya to kab ka sukh chooka tha. Waha koi naamonishaan nahi tha!
Bhide: Jethalal tum galati karate hue pakade gaye, ab bahaane bana rahe ho. Are bhai tum yaha pe esee gandee harakate karte ho. Kanhee bachcho ne dekh liya to unapar kya asar padega? Apni umar ka lihaaj karo aur kuchh shist se vartan karo. Warana society ke ekamev secretary ki hesiyat se mujhe tumhe dandit karna hoga!
Popatalaal: Are meto kahata hu is Jethalal ka yahaan rahana cancel kar dena chahiye…
Ayyar: Tum theek kah rahe ho Popatalal.
Jethalal (Ayyar aur Popatalaalakee ki or gussese dekhate hue manme): Chaapali champa.
Bhide (manme): Are deva, yeto sachame Jethalal ko society se nikaal denge.
Bhide (Mehta sahab ke kaanme): Mehta sahab kuchh keejiye naheetar ye log Jethalal ko society se nikaal denge.
Mehata sahab (Bhidese): Ruko main kuch karata hu.
Mehata sahab (baaji sanbhaalate hue): Nahn Popatalaal, tumhari ye baat uchit nahi hai. Ismein galati Jethalal hai usaki saja usake pure parivaar ko to nahi de sakte. Nahi, ye bilakul galat hai.
Ayyar: Main kya kahta hu Mehta sahab is Jethalal ki muchh mundava do.
Taaraka Mehta (darshakose): To doston kya lagata hai aapako aage kya hoga? Kya Jethalal ko Babuji aur Gokuldham wasiyo se mafi milegee ya fir usaki muchh kaat di jaayegi? Kya woh pure Gokuldham wasiyoko puri baat samajha payega?
Ya fir Babuji aur Gokuldham ke wasi Jethalal ko society se baahar kar dege? Main bhi aapahi ki tarah anjaan hu. Mujhe bhi nahi pata aage kya hoga.
Aap dusri TMKOC ki kahani yaha padh sakte hai.